What's the matter with Kansas? Sex toys. | Arkansas Blog

Thursday, September 25, 2014

What's the matter with Kansas? Sex toys.

Posted By on Thu, Sep 25, 2014 at 1:39 PM

click to enlarge BROWNBACK: If the Laffer curve doesn't work out, there's always the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.
  • BROWNBACK: If the Laffer curve doesn't work out, there's always the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.
You might remember that far-right Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback boasted that his state would be a "red-state model." He would slash taxes and prosperity would rain down! Brownback said the cuts would add a "shot of adrenaline" and that Kansas would be a "real, live experiment," showcasing to the rest of the country the economic growth just waiting to happen if only taxes were cut on the rich.

Instead: the real, live experiment has been a disaster. The state is in fiscal crisis. Jobs and economic growth went in the tank. Contra the predictions of voodoo-economics gurus like Arthur Laffer, the massive tax cuts led to crippling shortfalls in revenues. Moody's and Standard & Poor's both cut the state's credit rating. The fall in revenue has led to alarming cuts to public schools, with even bigger cuts likely coming as the state has burned through its once-large surplus at alarming speed. 


What's a failed red-state experiment to do? Here's a novel idea: The state has hatched a plan to auction off thousands of sex toys seized for nonpayment of taxes. The Topeka Capital-Journal reports:

Online shoppers for adult DVDs, novelty items, clothing and other products can participate in a bonanza shopping experience resulting from the four-county raid on a Kansas company known as United Outlets LLC. ...

The online site lists about 400 lots — individual lots can contain dozens of items — that include the Pipedream Fantasy Love Swing, books, hundreds of DVDs, sex and drinking games, a wide assortment of sexually oriented equipment, carrying cases for devices, the Glass Pleasure Wand, bundles of lingerie and the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.

One of the lots contained 50 “premium” vibrators and a teddy bear. The bidding was at $10.

Also available: two sets of sparkling sequin lounge pants, sizes large and small, as well as the Good Girl, Bad Girl Wrist Cuffs.

“What is different is the titillation factor of what we're selling,” said Jeannine Koranda, spokeswoman for the Kansas revenue department. “This is an unusual lot of items.”

"Our place, Kansas, will show the path, the difficult path, for America to go in these troubled times," Brownback said back in 2012. He was talking about his massive tax cuts, but maybe the difficult path in these trouble times is the way of the Glass Pleasure Wand.

Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 

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