Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Terrified turkeys to fall from sky again

Posted By on Wed, Oct 5, 2016 at 10:16 AM

THE TURKEY TUMBLE: Scene from past turkey dro. - BAXTER BULLETIN
  • BAXTER BULLETIN
  • THE TURKEY TUMBLE: Scene from past turkey dro.

TURKEY DROPPER: Mountain View pharmacist Dana Woods defends dropping turkeys from his airplane. "It brings in a lot of money," he told the Democrat-Gazette. - FACEBOOK
  • Facebook
  • TURKEY DROPPER: Mountain View pharmacist Dana Woods defends dropping turkeys from his airplane. "It brings in a lot of money," he told the Democrat-Gazette.
Bill Bowden reported in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette this morning that they'll be dropping live turkeys out of an airplane over Yellville again this Friday and Saturday at Yellville's Turkey Trot Festival.

The FAA said it doesn't get into animal cruelty issues (and you can be sure the local prosecutor has been bullied to silence by the locals on the issue). As long as the pilot, Mountain View pharmacist Dana Woods, doesn't drop turkeys over a crowd, the regulators say there's nothing they can do. Woods has been smirking about this cruel practice for years as the Phantom Pilot. There was a drop last year despite the previous hiatus, wildly cheered by those who see sport in abusing dumb animals.

It's inhumane, of course. Also, if a drop of live birds draws a bigger crowd, it is no commentary on the practice but on those who turn out.  They could probably get a good crowd in Yellville for a drawing and quartering, too. Here's an idea for sport: A drop of frozen Butterball turkeys from 500 feet over the cheering crowd.

The Yellville yahoos trotted out the usual defense that turkeys can fly, including expert testimony from the state Game and Fish Commission. The Game and Fish man was talking about WILD turkeys, I'd note. These are not wild turkeys and they'll be confined to a noisy plane before a drop from 500 feet, a good bit higher than the tree roosts from which a wild turkey might take off. I found more persuasive the comment from Yvonne Thaxton, a professor of poultry science at the University of Arkansas:
"Placing turkeys in an environment that is new to them is stressful," she said. "In the case of an airplane, the noise would also be a stress-producing fear reaction.

"Dropping one from 500 feet is a horrific act of abuse. There is no justification for this practice."
Hee-haw. Yuk it up Yellville.

Here's another funny idea. Round up a bunch of old people, being sure they all know how to swim. Then push them off a 10-meter diving board at a swimming pool (470 feet less than the turkeys will drop). A lot of them will be terrified, but, hey, they can swim. It would be funny as hell, right?

Tags: , , , , ,

From the ArkTimes store

Favorite

Speaking of...

Comments (237)

Showing 1-50 of 237

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-50 of 237

Add a comment

More by Max Brantley

  • Mr. Gianforte, a question? Mr. Gianforte?

    Politico says howdy to the Bruiser from Bozeman, Greg Gianforte. They'll have questions for the new congressman, who faces assault charges because he wasn't happy about a reporter's inquiries.
    • May 27, 2017
  • Abuse continues at Alexander juvenile center

    David Ramsey, writing for the Arkansas Nonprofit News Network, reports on the firing of a guard for choking a child at the Alexander Juvenile Assessment and Treatment Center, a lockup for juvenile offenders.
    • May 27, 2017
  • A new Trump on Twitter?

    Has a calmer — or edited — Donald Trump emerged on Twitter?
    • May 27, 2017
  • More »

Readers also liked…

Most Shared

  • Conspiracy theorists

    Back in 2000, I interviewed Rev. Jerry Falwell on camera in connection with a documentary film of "The Hunting of the President," which Joe Conason and I wrote.
  • The health of a hospital

    The Medicaid expansion helped Baxter County Regional Medical Center survive and thrive, but a federal repeal bill threatens to imperil it and its patients.
  • Virgil, quick come see

    There goes the Robert E. Lee. But the sentiment that built the monument? It's far from gone.
  • Real reform

    Arkansas voters, once perversely skeptical of complicated ballot issues like constitutional amendments, have become almost comical Pollyannas, ratifying the most shocking laws.
  • That modern mercantile: The bARn

    The bARn Mercantile — "the general store for the not so general," its slogan says — will open in the space formerly occupied by Ten Thousand Villages at 301A President Clinton Ave.

Visit Arkansas

Paddling the Fourche Creek Urban Water Trail

Paddling the Fourche Creek Urban Water Trail

Underutilized waterway is a hidden gem in urban Little Rock

Most Viewed

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: A new Trump on Twitter?

    • The words are too big and are spelled correctly. It isn't him anymore. With the…

    • on May 27, 2017
  • Re: A new Trump on Twitter?

    • Unless they lock his phone up at night, there is no way they'll keep him…

    • on May 27, 2017
  • Re: A new Trump on Twitter?

    • Read? Donald read a complete report from beginning to end and comprehend what he read?

    • on May 27, 2017

Blogroll

Slideshows

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation