Five Reasons to Hate Auburn | Razorback Expats

Friday, October 12, 2007

Five Reasons to Hate Auburn

Posted By on Fri, Oct 12, 2007 at 10:38 PM

In case you need any extra help getting fired up, we’ll be providing a handy pre-game cheat sheet detailing why you should hate each one of the Razorbacks’ opponents this fall. Some weeks will be easier than others…

1. They Aren't Very Good Guests. The Hogs have a losing record (3-4, to be exact) in home games against Auburn. That's pretty rude of the Tigers, if you ask us. We can only assume that Auburn coaches and players talk loudly on their cell phones during movies, don't clean up after their dogs and treat service workers shabbily. Of course, one might say that Arkansas treated Auburn pretty rudely last fall, when the Hogs waltzed into Jordan-Hare Stadium and trounced the then-No. 2 Tigers by a score of 27-10. One would be wrong. During one of our weekly "tequila and poker nights" with Miss Manners, she assured us this was perfectly acceptable behavior.

2. They Cursed Us. Before meeting Auburn in the 1984 Liberty Bowl, the Hogs sported a not-terrible bowl record of 8-9-3. However, Arkansas lost to the Tigers 21-15 that fateful night of Dec. 27, 1984, and have gone 3-11 in bowl games since, often looking like a junior college - or a junior high - team in the process. Clearly, something strange and supernatural happened that evening in Memphis. We're tired of hearing about the curses of the Bambino, the Billy Goat and Steve Bartman - it's time the sports media recognized the Curse of Bo Jackson.

3. Tenille Went There. That's right: Toni Tenille of the hideous 1970s pop duo The Captain & Tenille is a member of Auburn's Class of 1962. Damn you, Auburn, damn you.

4. We Would Never Do Something Like That. Auburn's fans are so unhinged and so obsessed that they booed their very own quarterback after he endured a particularly bad outing against Mississippi State. Thankfully, Arkansas fans are able to handle the struggles of their football team with balance and perspective.

5. The Hogs' Destiny Runs Through Them. We said it before Alabama. We said it before Kentucky. And now we're saying it for the last time before Auburn: this game is going to determine the rest of our season. Pull off a big win like we've been known to do against the Tigers, and we could get a nice winning streak going that makes everyone feel better. Pull off another agonizing loss and a goofy banner would be the least of Houston Nutt's worries. But no second chances after this one...if that doesn't get you fired up at least a little bit then we don't know what will.

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