The greatest film in the history of the world | Rock Candy

Friday, May 6, 2011

The greatest film in the history of the world

Posted By on Fri, May 6, 2011 at 5:06 PM

TIPTOES.jpg

We ran across this last night, and while it doesn't have an Arkansas angle, we couldn't resist sharing it.

Back in 2003, Kate Beckinsale, Matthew McConaughey, and Gary Oldman made a move called "Tiptoes," which was so bad the studio tried to bury it. It is — and we say this having actually seen only the trailer — undoubtedly so craptacular that it becomes genius. For example, as seen in the narrated-by-Bob-from-Accounting trailer, Oldman plays a nearsighted dwarf (which the trailer calls: "The role of a lifetime.") As an added bonus, the film apparently employed literally every little person working in Hollywood at the time, including the porn star Bridgett the Midget.

Daniel Tosh with Comedy Central's Tosh.0 has posted a 43 minute spoiler that describes every second of the film (or, if you prefer, a shorter, digest-sized version), but something tells us we need to wait for the postman to deliver this baby from Netflix.

Also: Why the hell does Beckinsale wear a DOG COLLAR WITH A RING ON IT during many pivotal scenes of the trailer? The mind yearns to know.

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