Congressman Steve Womack hits upon the perfect formula for reaching out to the ever-elusive “Independent Voter” | Street Jazz

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Congressman Steve Womack hits upon the perfect formula for reaching out to the ever-elusive “Independent Voter”

Posted By on Thu, Apr 19, 2012 at 12:55 AM

The Scowling One, Congressman Steve Womack, has hit upon what must have seemed to his staff as a winning formula for reaching out to the mysterious “Independent Voter” stalking America’s voting booths, bookstores, coffee shops and supermarkets.

In his latest message to voters, under his ever strong-hearted “From the Front” with the heading:

Do You Believe...:

Do you believe in a balanced budget? Do you believe in an energy independent America? Do you believe the President’s health care mandate is unconstitutional? Do you desire leadership with character and integrity? If you answered yes to any of these questions, show your support by visiting my Facebook page and clicking the “LIKE” button.

I DON’T believe America’s best days are behind us. In fact, I believe our country and its people have all the potential in the world moving ahead, but there’s no doubt that the decisions being made now will affect generations to come – for better or worse. Let’s take the stand together and make America that “shining city upon a hill” once again.

Like many members of the GOP, TSO is wants us to know that he doesn’t believe that that our best days are behind us. As with other GOP members, though, he is just a little vague on exactly who out there is spreading these rumors that our best days are behind us.

Ah well, maybe next time he’ll name names.

Oh, and by the way, the reference that everybody since the Reaganolithic era has been misquoting from John Winthrop? It refers to “ . . . the city on the hill . . .” not the shining city on the hill. Dropping this line into your political pep talks doesn’t make you look smart.

It just makes you look slightly illiterate. That’s okay, though, There’s lots of programs out there to battle this particular malady - until the budget harvesters have their happy way, that is. Oh, wait - you're one of them.

Ironically enough, though, Winthrop actually had a lot in common with the modern-day Republican party, in that he seemed to despise the very notion of democracy:

"If we should change from a mixed aristocracy to mere democracy, first we should have no warrant in scripture for it: for there was no such government in Israel ... A democracy is, amongst civil nations, accounted the meanest and worst of all forms of government. [To allow it would be] a manifest breach of the 5th Commandment." - R.C. Winthrop, Life and Letters of John Winthrop (Boston, 1869), vol. ii, p. 430.

Now, there was a man who could get behind voter suppression laws.


The Great State of Tennessee: where kissing and hand-holding are “gateway sexual activities”

I have written a fair amount of humour in my time, but never anything as good as this. Too bad it is all true.

The Great State of Tennessee has passed SB 3310, which is a bill to designed update the state’s abstinence-based sex education curriculum to define holding hands and kissing as “gateway sexual activities.”

This is no laughing matter, Undulating Reader, since the Great State of Tennessee is above the national average for those high schoolers who indulge in having sex, so as far as the Barney Fife’s in the legislature are concerned, it is time to “Nip it!”

Now, instructors in what laughably be termed sex education in the Great State of Tennessee’s high schools may not actually demonstrate “gateway” sexual activity (I am not writing this with a straight face) and if if those pesky “educators” even think of going beyond the Cotton Matherish curriculum, the bill states:

“The parent or legal guardian shall have a cause of action against the instructor or organization for actual damages.”

It makes one just want to defy the law, doesn’t it? A Monkey Trial for the 21st Century, only I’m afraid of what draconian punishments the legislators may come up with for anyone who allows any young person in their class to caress the flesh of another young person, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Hell, they’d probably put the kids on the Sex Offender Registry.


The War on America declared by the Men with Dorky Haircuts

I’d hate to spend even a week in the America envisioned by the sponsors of such bills.


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I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. - Eartha Kitt

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