The War on Santa Claus: When was the last time you actually saw Jolly Old Saint Nick in a commercial which wasn’t geared towards adults? | Street Jazz

Monday, December 9, 2013

The War on Santa Claus: When was the last time you actually saw Jolly Old Saint Nick in a commercial which wasn’t geared towards adults?

Posted By on Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Every year around this time, folks who should be filled with the joys of the holidays are whipped up into a frenzy by cynical political commentators seeking to convince them that one year soon the Thought Police will break into their homes on Christmas Eve, and, like the Grinch, confiscate all of their toys and roast beast.

And then, just for good measure, probably send the First Born of each family off to a FEMA Holiday Camp for reeducation.

But hey, if people want to spend what is meant to be a season of joy stomping around with their jaws clamped tight, looking for enemies of the state in all who let “Happy Holidays” (a phrase we all know in our hearts was first coined by Karl Marx!) instead of “Merry Christmas,” (which is what the Three Wise Men exclaimed as they climbed off their camels) out of their mouths, well, humbug to them.

Humbug. I say!

Equal amounts of humbug to those who would mock those who celebrate Christmas.

There is, however, a far more insidious war taking place right under our noses, and it is being conducted against the man who brings not salvation, true, but toys - but who among us can’t say that the right toy at the right time isn’t a form of salvation, all in itself?

No, Kedged Reader, no war against mere semantics, this war is against the fellow who brings joy to so many children.

And it isn’t the stupid “Let’s make Santa skinny” crap we went through a few years ago. No, the drones of commercialism have set their sights on Santa’s workshop, and Mr. And Ms. Claus have been sent to an undisclosed location, while scores of Santa pretenders roam the airwaves, hawking gifts for grownups.



Even more cars.

Have the Trojan folks gotten themselves a Santa wannabe yet, for their commercials featuring young sexy actors with unsatisfied sex lives until they bought the latest gadget from Trojan? Cuz, boy, have I got an advertising campaign for you! Just give me a call . . .

Anyway, digression aside, when was the last time that you saw Santa in an actual toy commercial?

Yeah. That’s because he is in some corporate prison somewhere, while “Santas” who would be repulsed at the very notion of wasting valuable time and energy pushing car deals or diamond rings party on in his place.

So you sort of have to ask yourself, especially if you bathe in the waters of conspiracy before leaving the house - you ever do:

What does President Obama know about this, and when did he know it?


Quote of the Day

You never see the effect of your thinking on your readers; they live and die far away from you, a few write letters of praise or criticism, the thousands give no sign. - Philip G. Hamerton

Sign up for the Daily Update email


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Richard Drake

  • “And rats may die, and one need have no compunction about rats . . .” Human beings or animals?

    In recent days, the Great Humanitarians of Facebook have been debating (well, not debating so much as agreeing) that there are people in the world who are not human, but animals.
    • May 20, 2018
  • Dublin: The Passing of a Border Prince

    Like T.S. Eliot’s cats, many dogs also have a secret name. Oh, not all dogs, mind you, - but certainly the ones who are poets at heart, have the soul of of an adventurer, and are ever alert to the first sign of danger to to their realm, and those they feel feel called upon to defend.
    • May 16, 2018
  • Cancer and Conservation of Energy

    You never call, you never write are words I have heard often over the years - now along with you never check your answering machine, email or Facebook messages.
    • May 12, 2018
  • More »

Most Recent Comments


© 2018 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation