The Soldier and the child Bride | Street Jazz

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Soldier and the child Bride

Posted By on Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 10:31 PM

Many years ago, while a freshman at Penn State, in English class we had to deconstruct one of the more popular songs of the 1960s - “Honey,” by singer Bobby Goldsboro, and written by Bobby Russell. On the surface, it was the story of man mourning his late wife. But once you really, truly began to look at the lyrics, the song was much creepier, and it soon became obvious that not only had he married a simple-minded child bride, but that while he was alive, there was a streak of emotional cruelty in him, as well.

Even so, folks who truly love this song don’t want to listen to any of the above.

I have been getting the same feeling lately, watching a TV commercial which has been playing about 600 times a day. A wife is “Skyping” with her husband, as they discuss a house they are considering buying.

As this is the 21st century, we don’t actually visit the house itself, we just look at information online, which as we all know, is always 100% accurate, isn’t it? Yeah . . .

I remember when Tracy and had to spend a few weeks in Dallas some years ago and we rented a place at one of those rent by the week/month motels. The pictures looked really great online.

And that’s all I’ll say about that sad adventure into Hell.

Back to our commercial, where our dutiful wife keeps telling her husband how much she loves the house - which she ain’t actually seen yet - and he breaks in with questions like, “What about when my folks visit?”

Not “What about when your folks visit?” or even “What about when our folks visit?”

No, Quadruped Reader, it’s “What about when my folks visit?”

Child Bride -which how I have come to see her - lowers her head and nods. She has screwed up, and once again Manly Man has had to keep her eyes on the prize.

At the end of this throwback to the 1950s, she comes to the door of the house - no Realtor in sight - and who should be standing in the living room but Dad, with a big grin on his face! She is overcome with tears of joy as youngling throws herself into his arms.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but its pretty apparent that the neanderthals who made this ad don’t know much about military life.

Whether you know much about about military life, or just surround yourself with warm cozy cliches “They are all trained to kill - end of story!” the truth is that military families have to learn to be self-reliant, especially when the spouse who is on active duty is away.

Child brides like the one depicted on this commercial may exist, but I never actually met any while I was growing up as an Air Force dependent.

There is just so much to despise about this commercial, and so little to like, if anything at all.


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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog. - Bennett Cerf

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