Greg Barber of Sulphur Springs, Arkansas: Why some mayors should avoid the Internet at all costs | Street Jazz

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Greg Barber of Sulphur Springs, Arkansas: Why some mayors should avoid the Internet at all costs

Posted By on Tue, Sep 9, 2014 at 12:44 AM

Have you ever met someone who seems to say the first thing that pops into his head, no matter how nonsensical it might be? Allow me to introduce you to Comrade Greg Barber, the mayor of Sulphur Springs, of Benton County.

In an effort to prove, perhaps that even though he is mayor of a town of less than 600 he is still relevant, Barber posted - or reposted, rather - a bit of Internet advice which has bounced around for several years which advises women to prance around naked on 9/11, since if them Muslim fellas see a naked women who ain't married to them, why, shucks, they have no choice but to commit suicide.

Those who chortle over this bit of wisdom aren't terribly aware that at least a couple of the 9/11 hijackers enjoyed going to establishments which featured topless dancers. There are no reports of suicide attempts on their part prior to 9/11.

The email also urges menfolk to sit around with six-packs of beer, since them Islamic folks don't approve of alcohol.

Mayor Barber didn't quite expect the world-at-large to learn of his attempts at political humor. Evidently no one in Sulphur Springs has explained to him that the Internet in Sulphur Springs doesn't stop at the City Limits.

An aggrieved Barber posted this on his Facebook page:

I've just encountered the most ridiculous, I can't take a joke, busybodies ever. Remember the JOKE about terrorist committing suicide if they see a naked women? Bobby and Judy Simon sent a copy of the post to all 6 or 7 of thier friends in town. Then sent it to my boss and my boss' boss, telling them they were contacting the media accussing me of being racist. Against muslim terrorist? Evidently they have a soft spot for terrorist. This comming from a man investigated by the state police for civil rights violations against Marshall Islanders in town.

Evidently the concept of Spellcheck hasn't reached the mayor's office in Sulphur Springs yet. Bravely, though, he soldiered on without it.

Anyhow, just for fun, here a few more of the golden nuggets to be found on his Facebook page.

So, at 90 years old, former president Bush takes a parachute jump. Seriously, could you ever imagine our current president having the testicular fortitude to do this, even now, as young as he is? Nope, nope, nope! I can't.

He likes guns . . . a lot. And the Tea Party.

I love all the talking heads calling for weapons bans because no citizen needs a semi-auto gun or a 100 round magizine. The founders of our country felt the citizens need the same weapons as our government to protect ourselves from the government.

And touching once more upon the subject of religious tolerance . . .

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

We could call one of the clubs, "The Turban Cowboy", which would be gay, and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called " Iraq o' Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop, a liquor store called "Morehammered." All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved.

If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on…for the sake of tolerance.

And proving once again, perhaps, that being Politically Incorrect is just another way of saying, "No, I don't think anyone but my friends and family will ever read this":

Please copy and paste this as your status, even for just a minute, if someone you know is alive today because you couldn't afford a Hitman

And finally, making the argument that National Geographic should be available in every grocery store:

The Dot l FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States .

If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with Verizon technical support.

Comrade Barber declined to discuss the subject when one news organization contacted him, so I sort of doubt that he will reply to my query about his computer having Spellcheck.

rsdrake@cox.net

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