Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! Stupid drivers approaching the crosswalk . . . | Street Jazz

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! Stupid drivers approaching the crosswalk . . .

Posted By on Tue, Jun 2, 2015 at 3:33 PM

If the past week is anything to go by, I am beginning to suspect that my days may be numbered.

Twice, in the space of less than a week, I have encountered drivers who, to put it kindly, should probably think about taking the bus - because eventually they are going to send some poor soul into the next life, and will probably end up blaming their victim, to boot.

What makes my experiences worthy of note - well, at least to me - is that they both took place at the same crosswalk, which connects Fayetteville’s Fiesta Square with Al’s Fast Trax, which, when it was a 7 Eleven in the 1970s, provided me with gainful employment as a night manager.

In 2015, though, it may well serve as the site of my eventual memorial service.

My first brush with the Afterlife came last week, when, upon getting the signal that I could cross the street, I began my happy journey, only to be cut off by mere inches by a woman driving a van, speaking into her cell phone in much the same manner as Captain Kirk when contacting his ship.

She looked up, saw me, and gave me one of the dirtiest looks I’ve ever gotten in my life.

My second encounter came yesterday, when I was returning from Office Depot. Once again, the light was in my favor - silly me! - and this time my path was cut off by a man clutching his steering wheel with all the passion of someone who simply had to get to Applebee’s before his favorite appetizers were all gone.

He looked up at me in surprise, and I mouthed the words, “Dumb shit.”

Dollars to doughnuts he was offended by my attitude.

Other than my sincere hope that these folks are sterile, so that their stupidity won’t be passed on to yet another generation, I realize that they are probably serial offenders, and will go on until that fateful day when . . .


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“We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower


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