The Adventure of the Topless Club Gourmand | Street Jazz

Sunday, February 4, 2018

The Adventure of the Topless Club Gourmand

Posted By on Sun, Feb 4, 2018 at 12:25 PM

Once upon a time a young woman was writing an article about sexually oriented businesses in Fayetteville for the Ozark Gazette, and didn’t want to go by herself to interview the dancers. As her boyfriend wouldn’t go with her, she asked me to go. “Uh, sure,” I said.

Sitting with her in a booth, I had the creepy feeling that it looked for all the world like a father/daughter sojourn into the seamier side of life.

It got a little weirder for me when two comely young women sat across from us, and she began her interview.

Suddenly, I wasn’t sure where to look.

Oh, I could have stared straight into the eyes of the young women while they were talking, but the steely gaze of an older man seemed somehow, well, inappropriate. And again, a little creepy.

Half listening to the conversation, I began to let my eyes roam over the room. There was the stage, of course, with its obligatory pole, and a few tables scattered here and there.

At this point a large man came in, sat down at one of the tables, motioned to the waitress - I dunno what else to call her - and asked to see the menu.

The what? Menu?

Again I say, what?

Much to my surprise she brought him out said menu, and after glancing over it, he ordered steak and a baked potato. You know how there are moments in your life when details can be recalled years later with crystal clarity? Well, this was one of them.

At this point I have to say that the interview, while covering a broad range of topics, didn’t last all that long. This is important for you to know.

Within a few minutes a plate was delivered to the man who had come out for an evening of fine dining. He ate his dinner with gusto, and when he was finished, he asked the young woman who had brought his dinner to convey his compliments to the “chef.”

Now, I’ve had more than a few steaks in my life, and I’ll tell you this: any steak that is prepared in three minutes isn’t something to send any sort of compliment to the kitchen over.

I think he fondly imagined the topless club’s Chef Boyardee, lording it over a crew of cooks in a gleaming kitchen. I, on the other hand, pictured the janitor/bouncer shoving meat bought on sale into a microwave, and sliding it out when it was done.

Call me cynical, but I think my view of things may be closer to the truth.

At any rate, we left before he ordered dessert, but I have no doubt that he was equally as fulsome in his appreciation for a job well done.

I don’t eat as much steak as I used to, but one thing I am pretty sure of: if you want a good meal, you don’t order it in a place where most of the staff are, well, in a state of undress.


Today’s Soundtrack

Sprinting to the blog’s finish line today while listening to the soundtrack from “Chariots of Fire,” by Vangelis.


Now on YouTube: Clarke Buehling

My interview with banjo master Clarke Buehling.

"On the Air with Richard S. Drake" celebrates 27 years years on the air in 2018.


Quote of the Day

A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. - Marcus Garvey


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