Not quite the worst book in the world, but still . . . | Street Jazz

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Not quite the worst book in the world, but still . . .

Posted By on Sun, Apr 15, 2018 at 12:26 PM

Sitting next to my keyboard is a book which just annoys the hell out of me, but I can’t give it away, and good conscience forbids me from throwing it in the trash.

I was online a while back, ordering a book, when a “suggestion” popped up, a siren song to my love of all things Irwin Allen. A new series of novels based on the best Allen creation, “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.”

Now, no matter what you you might think of how Voyage degenerated over the years into a cheesy monster of the week show, both the original movie and the first season of the series are good, solid entertainment. And I was sort of intrigued by the description:

“Living Death is an unmade episode that deals with man's ability to create life and the dangers such a miracle brings about in this action packed never before revealed story in a new series of pocket books in the ‘Lost Episodes’ range.”

In hopes that this novel might reflect some of the storytelling quality of the first season, I let slip eight dollars from my credit card. True, in a lifetime of stupid mistakes this hardly qualifies as my worst, but still, it’s one I’ll not make again.

He said, hopefully.

I knew I was in trouble when I began reading the back of the slim paperback (21 pages) and found not one, but two spelling errors. Now, I have been guilty of some spelling whoppers, especially on my blog, but not on the backs of my books.

“Pocket Books Universal brings you a new series based on famous TV series that for saome reason or other had an episode omitted from production or never made, despite having the script done and ready to go before the cameras.

“This first book explores the depths of the sea and dangers galaore as we go on a Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and join Admiral Nelson and Captain Crane as they confront The Living Death.”

Don’t bother trying to Google Pocket Books Universal; it seems to exist only in the fevered imagination of the person who wrote this piece of fan fiction. Not only is the writer’s name not on the book, but the writer of the episode on which this “novel” is supposedly based is also nowhere in sight.

And the writing?

Well, most of the words are spelt right, which is a plus, I suppose. As for the writing style? Well, I wrote a “Star Trek” story when I was 14, and it was every bit as well-written as this . . . this . . . this thing.

But what to do with it?

I can’t give it to Goodwill or the public library used bookstore, as I fear my karma would suffer irreparable harm. I can’t just lob it in the trash because that just goes against everything I believe in.

I could hang on to it until I die and it is sold in an estate sale, and some jerk will proclaim, “So this is the type of junk that Drake read!”

Well, somebody will no doubt do that anyway.

It’s a classic case of damned if i do, and damned if I don’t . . .


Today’s Soundtrack

Listening to John Mock’s “Celtic Portraits” today.


Now on YouTube: The UFO Show

My interview with filmmaker Bob Emenegger, a conversation in which we discuss his work in TV commercials and documentaries about UFOs.

On the Air: The UFO Show

"On the Air with Richard S. Drake" celebrates 27 years years on the air in 2018.


Quote of the Day

Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated, - Robert C. Savage

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