Favorite

Grace ’08 

Thanks for indoor plumbing. It's a lot better than the old way.

Thanks for Brown v. Board of Education and Roe v. Wade. They've made life better for millions of people.

Thanks for apricot fried pies as they were made in iron skillets by unsung domestic geniuses long ago. Mrs. Anderton, who just died, was one of them. She handed them out to Halloween trick-or-treaters who couldn't believe their good fortune.

Thanks for the lengthened lifespan. When Mozart was my age, he'd already been dead longer than John Keats lived. I'm humbled at what others accomplished in fewer years than I've been given, but I remain appreciative that the bonus time was squandered on my worthless old arse nonetheless.

Thanks for King Solomon's reminder to all of us — every one of us -- that an haughty spirit usually goeth before a serious toestub, and for the related guilty pleasure of so often being able to see the ostentatiously self-righteous hoist at last by their own petard.

In other words, or in one other word, thanks for schadenfreude, and thanks for the concept having been coined in a foreign language so that we don't have to feel quite as shameful for indulging in it from time to time.

Thanks for stained-glass windows backlit by winter sunshine.

Thanks for Daffy Duck's take on the word “despicable.”

Thanks for the road not taken. And for the blind luck in not having taken it. I'd like to say wisdom rather than blind luck, or shrewdness, or something in my raising, or something giving me credit to some small extent, but I know better.

Thanks for the scientific and medical advances that have made life better for other millions despite hindrances and obstruction at every turn by the political know-nothings.

Thanks for little Wally Cleaver's metamorphosis into a geezer artist whose work is on display at the Louvre. Wasn't he Ozzie and Harriet's boy? George and Gracie's? Ward and June's? Anyway. It seems only yesterday.

Thanks for how good it feels when it quits hurting.

Thanks for your patience in forgiving the occasional yielding to the temptation to wax profound in this space, as in this very column — to express like the old Saturday Night Live some of those “deep thoughts” that bedevil all of us but that we ordinarily have the good sense and good manners to keep to ourselves.

Thanks for the Twit Olympics.

Thanks for that stimulus check, and for it being of such a bonanza  amount that  we were able to pay for two and dang near even three gallons of gas with it.

Thanks for the efforts, mostly thwarted, by the environmentalist wackos on behalf of those who haven't been born yet.

Thanks for the plentitude of what the old folks used to call chicken fertilize, the original Miracle-Gro.

Thanks for old-time radio, the greatest imagination-fueler since the invention of the book. It widened your circle to include the whole world, Even if you were a slow-learner child stuck in the viny frowse of primitive rural Arkansas, Henry Aldrich and Andrew H. Brown were right there with you. It also knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men.

Thanks for the wisdom that Lofty Craig and Mr. Boynton and Albert Alligator usually brought to the situation.

Thanks for the clever things that Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, Winston Churchill, John Randolph of Roanoke, Will Rogers, and Yogi Berra said.

Thanks for Wile E. Coyote, for his grit and determination in spite of the dead solid certainty that every rock falling from the top of a butte is going to flatten him like a sheet of notebook paper.  Thanks too for Foghorn Leghorn, who affirmed the suspicion that there's no virtue in bluster except that it can be really funny if no one suffers because of it, and especially so if the blusterer is an overbearing two-dimensional chicken.

Thanks for Bewitched, Bothered, and Bemildred.

Thanks for old-fashioned hard-nosed journalism, and the 50-year period, from about 1940 to about 1990, when it prospered. It's long gone now, of course, but it was fun while it lasted, and as Mrs. Willy Loman or Wally Hall once said, gratitude must not be allowed to go unexpressed.

Thanks for those who know, in their hearts and minds and souls, that, win or lose, it's not really about them.

Thanks for evolution, and for the hopefulness contained in the idea of it.

Thanks for the wrench thrown lately into the smear machine.

Thanks for the limitations — the limitations being the definition finally. You can only do so many things. You can only go so many places. You can only be who you are, in the time that you've been allotted. You have to be content to watch from the wing, without too much resentment, as all the other do and go and be proceeds without your input or participation, valuable as that surely would've been. Sounds easy enough. Ain't.

And on the topic of limitations, thanks this year more than ever for the amendment limiting presidents to two terms.

 

 

 

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

More by Bob Lancaster

  • Wretched rez

    I had some New Year's Rez(olutions) for 2016 but that ship sailed so I'm renaming them my Spring Rez or my All-Occasion Whatevers and sending them along.
    • May 26, 2016
  • Nod to Bob

    A look back at the weird and wonderful world of Bob Lancaster.
    • Mar 21, 2013
  • On black history

    If you're going to devote an entire month to appreciating the history of a color, it might as well be the color black.
    • Feb 14, 2013
  • More »

Most Shared

  • So much for a school settlement in Pulaski County

    The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette's Cynthia Howell got the scoop on what appears to be coming upheaval in the Pulaski County School District along with the likely end of any chance of a speedy resolution of school desegregation issues in Pulaski County.
  • Riverfest calls it quits

    The board of directors of Riverfest, Arkansas's largest and longest running music festival, announced today that the festival will no longer be held. Riverfest celebrated its 40th anniversary in June. A press release blamed competition from other festivals and the rising cost of performers fees for the decision.
  • Football for UA Little Rock

    Andrew Rogerson, the new chancellor at UA Little Rock, has decided to study the cost of starting a major college football team on campus (plus a marching band). Technically, it would be a revival of football, dropped more than 60 years ago when the school was a junior college.
  • Turn to baseball

    When the world threatens to get you down, there is always baseball — an absorbing refuge, an alternate reality entirely unto itself.

Latest in Bob Lancaster

  • Lancaster retires

    Bob Lancaster, one of the Arkansas Times longest and most valued contributors, retired from writing his column last week. We’ll miss his his contributions mightily. Look out, in the weeks to come, for a look back at some of his greatest hits. In the meantime, here's a good place to start.

    • Feb 21, 2013
  • On black history

    If you're going to devote an entire month to appreciating the history of a color, it might as well be the color black.
    • Feb 14, 2013
  • Making it through

    Made it through another January, thank the Lord.
    • Feb 6, 2013
  • More »

Event Calendar

« »

July

S M T W T F S
  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31  

Most Viewed

  • Another Jesus

    If you follow the logic of Jason Rapert and his supporters, God is very pleased so many have donated money to rebuild a giant stone slab with some rules on it. A few minutes on Rapert's Facebook page (if he hasn't blocked you yet) also shows his supporters believe that Jesus wants us to lock up more people in prison, close our borders to those in need and let poor Americans fend for themselves for food and health care.
  • Pay attention

    If anyone thinks that a crisis with the Power Ultra Lounge shooting, then he hasn't been paying attention to Little Rock.

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Another Jesus

    • The prophet Isaiah was a man of unclean lips and dwell among people of the…

    • on July 21, 2017
  • Re: Turn to baseball

    • leave the rules the way they are. teach players how to hit, don't legislate no…

    • on July 20, 2017
  • Re: Pay attention

    • The beautiful new 12th St. Precinct is full of empty rooms: Why not create a…

    • on July 20, 2017
 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation