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Inconsequential News Quiz: Booty Bowl Edition 

Play at home, with your Naloxone close at hand.

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1) City building inspectors forced the closure of a bar and grill on Asher Avenue last week, citing several fire code violations. Which of the following is an event that had to be canceled because of the closure?

A) A set by Power Ultra Lounge regular DJ Felon in Pozzezzion of a Firearm.

B) Mayor Mark Stodola look-alike contest.

C) The 2017 Booty Bowl.

D) Unplanned pregnancy information fair for those who attended the True Love Waits Christian Rock Festival in June.

2) At a press conference last week, Governor Hutchinson announced that pharmacists across Arkansas may now dispense something without a prescription for the first time. What is it?

A) Sound advice to get the hell out of this state while the gettin' is good.

B) Naloxone, a drug that can reverse an opioid overdose.

C) Bible verses and shame to any unmarried person attempting to buy rubbers.

D) Hot fudge sundaes with blue supermeth sprinkles.

3) The American Atheists advocacy group recently sent a letter to over 260 public school superintendents across Arkansas, informing them of something. What did the letter say?

A) That grown men bending over and paddling children and pubescent teens to "discipline" them is a really, REALLY weird thing to do.

B) That Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be An American" is not, in fact, the National Anthem.

C) That it has received a "credible threat" that Santa Claus, Jesus and SpongeBob SquarePants are planning a terrorist attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

D) That it's prepared to sue if schools implement a new state law requiring a framed copy of the phrase "In God We Trust" on the wall of every public school classroom.

4) Arkansas's average ACT score fell by almost a full point, from 20.2 for last year's high school seniors, to 19.4 for this year. On what does the Arkansas Department of Education blame the drop?

A) Over 60 percent of Arkansas teachers are addicted to huffing dry-erase markers.

B) A lack of framed "In God We Trust" reminders in classrooms.

C) 25 percent more students taking the test, since the state started picking up the cost for all juniors to take the test in 2016.

D) Historic shortages of No. 2 pencils in Crawford, Ashley, Polk and Merkin counties.

5) It's been announced that the next season of a popular TV series will have an Arkansas connection. What's the connection?

A) Leaked scripts for the next season of "Game of Thrones" reveal that the show will end with the Iron Throne somehow occupied by an unemployed roofer from Malvern named The Dread King Danny Jack Bodean.

B) A new character on "Orange Is the New Black" will be a woman sent to prison for selling Arkansas Department of Correction Director Wendy Kelley two vials of the execution drug Midazolam on a Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

C) The Duggar family will soon debut its new TLC reality show, "19 Kids Counting On Psychotherapy."

D) The third season of HBO's "True Detective" will be set in Northwest Arkansas.
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