Inconsequential News Quiz: Huckstering in the Middle East 

Play at home!

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1) A Facebook post by a Little Rock man went viral in late June after he wrote on the Facebook page of Little Rock NBC affiliate KARK, Channel 4, to complain. What was the man complaining about?

A) The pending reboot of "Coach," which wasn't nearly as good as you remember it.

B) The shocking lack of testicle-injury-related humor on TV since NBC canceled "RIGHT IN THE 'NADS!"

C) His mistaken belief that KARK had changed its logo to "the colors of the gays" in celebration of the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality, not realizing, of course, that the NBC logo has been a rainbow-feathered peacock since 1956.

D) NBC's refusal to allow him to reshoot the "Seinfeld" ending so that George and The Soup Nazi get married.

2) Recently, police said, a Jonesboro woman stabbed her boyfriend with a pair of scissors during an argument. What, according to police, was the couple arguing about?

A) Running with scissors.

B) Coupons.

C) Whether or not the victim could make a grilled cheese sandwich.

D) Economist Tyler Beck Goodspeed's 2012 book "Rethinking the Keynesian Revolution: Keynes, Hayek and the Wicksell Connection."

3) At the Springdale Municipal Airport in July, a man was arrested on charges of public intoxication. What do police say he was doing when he was arrested?

A) Crawling from the wreckage of a crashed Cessna.

B) Attempting to build a replica of the Eiffel Tower with tiny liquor bottles.

C) Passed out shirtless in the control tower, where he was serving as the on-duty air traffic controller.

D) Mourning the cancellation of the Duggars' TLC show by trying to drink 19 cocktails and counting.

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4) Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee recently gave his opinion on what might keep America from becoming mired in another decade-long Middle East conflict like Iraq or Afghanistan. What was Huckabee's suggestion?

A) "Free Birdseed!" sign beside a mile-wide cardboard box with a giant stick holding up one side.

B) "Don't start no shit, won't be no shit."

C) Make America's $598 billion-per-year military more "fierce" and showing that "we plan to push back and destroy that threat to us. And we won't take 10 years doing it, we hopefully won't even take 10 months. It will be like a 10-day exercise, because the fierceness of our forces would mean that we can absolutely guarantee the outcome."

D) Airdrop copies of Huckabee's book "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy" on enemy strongholds, scoop up insurgents after the sad state of American political discourse makes them so depressed they no longer have the will to fight.

5) Last week in Little Rock, near the busy corner of Valentine and Markham streets, a rather odd creature was found dead, apparently the victim of a passing car. What was it?

A) 'Squatch on his way to Pizza D's.

B) The Gay Fairy, which can turn straight dudes homosexual (Republicans only).

C) A four-foot long ball python.

D) Human centipede.

Ansers: C, C, C, C, C


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