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Inconsequential News Quiz: Poop Dogg Edition 

Play at home, while accepting the horrible fact that the "Beat the Boss" phone in item three is a real thing.

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1) Former Gov. Mike Huckabee was recently mocked unmercifully online for his ultimately unsuccessful attempt to start a Twitter beef with rapper Snoop Dogg over a music video in which Snoop "shoots" a fake gun at a Donald Trump clown. Which of the following was included in Huckabee's Tweet?

A) Called him "Poop Dogg."

B) Thrilled the young folks with a reference to the 2000 Baha Men hit "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

C) Called Snoop Dogg and rapper Bow Wow "bad dogs."

D) All of the above.

2) In early March, a University of Central Arkansas student pulled over in Conway on suspicion of driving under the influence proved his sobriety to officers in a surprising way. What did he do?

A) Deftly juggled three wooden clubs, including balancing one briefly on his nose while continuing to juggle the others.

B) Quickly wrote a plan that allows Republicans to repeal Obamacare, cover more Americans, and drive premium costs lower, with no penalty for people who refuse to buy coverage. He was immediately arrested for being an interdimensional space warlock.

C) Drank an entire fifth of vodka without taking a breath.

D) He was drunk, but when he showed them his current student loan balance, they took pity on him and let him go.

3) During a recent speech to the Little Rock Rotary Club, a comment by Arkansas Department of Correction Director Wendy Kelley reportedly drew nervous laughter before the assembled Rotarians realized she wasn't kidding. What did Kelley say?

A) That they'd cut food costs dramatically by feeding inmates a straight diet of sawdust.

B) Kelley asked them to witness one of the eight lethal injections scheduled for April, because state law requires that at least six people witness an execution and the prison is having trouble finding volunteers.

C) That the prison system's escapee-pursuing bloodhounds have been replaced by former truffle-hunting miniature pigs.

D) That she had personally tested ADC security by smuggling in a "Beat the Boss" phone — the cell phone specifically designed to be smuggled into prisons in a person's butt.

4) Local blogger Russ Racop recently asked a Little Rock Police Department spokesman why LRPD Chief Kenton Buckner wasn't issued a ticket after a March 2 incident in which Buckner rear-ended a car at Markham and Spring streets. What was the spokesman's explanation for why Buckner didn't get a ticket?

A) Buckner had deftly juggled three wooden clubs.

B) It is departmental policy that police officers aren't issued tickets after traffic accidents.

C) Both officers who responded to the accident had ... like ... used all their tickets mopping up a particularly nasty coffee spill on the front seat of their cruiser. Or something.

D) Buckner and the officer on scene bonded over their shared love of "Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach."

5) The Downtown Little Rock Partnership recently announced a major development for Main Street. What was it?

A) An artisan bologna and saltine cracker bar.

B) The return of Mr. Cool Men's Wear (now with 40 percent more pleather hot pants).

C) Refurbishment of the historic Cave's Jewelers clock at Capitol Avenue and Main Street.

D) A fighting robot arena for the Little Rock Technology Park.

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