Inconsequential News Quiz: To Protect and Serve Edition 

Play at home, with your dapper pug!

1) People in certain parts of Northwest Arkansas recently noticed that their drinking water tastes a little funky. According to officials with their local water district, what's the problem? A) A last, end-of-summer swim by Darla "Front Butt" Merkin. B) Craft beer fan at the water treatment plant added waaaaaay too many hops. C) Cooler water on the surface is sinking to the bottom of Beaver Lake, causing the reservoir to "turn over" and stirring up a record algae bloom. D) Giant plesiosaur that lurks in the depths of Lake Fort Smith ate a bad burrito. 2) According to a story from Fox 16 News last week, an action by recruits who went through the Little Rock Police Department's training academy in February has LRPD officials rethinking their policies. What happened? A) Two recruits received the department's new $5,000 "signing bonus," then promptly quit the LRPD. B) A recruit simulated machine gun fire with his voice during a speech by the chief, forcing officials to send him back to "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol." C) The age old Crème Filled vs. Glazed debate boiled over into violence. D) Five recruits managed to almost immediately lose the single bullet they are presented upon graduation. 3) A former Garland County administrative assistant pleaded guilty last week to six felony counts related to her making more than $162,000 in fraudulent charges on the county credit card. Which of the following was a real item she purchased with the money? A) Hooked on Phonics tapes for the local Ku Klux Klan chapter. B) 10,000 gallons of magic water. C) Tobacco-stained jock strap Ty Cobb left at Buckstaff Bathhouse in 1918. D) A tuxedo for her pug. 4) Data recently released by the U.S. Census Bureau showed something remarkable about the citizens of Arkansas. What was it? A) Arkansans are 17 times more likely than residents of surrounding states to list "liquor" as one of the four food groups. B) We moved up from 50th to 49th in the nation for new hookworm cases. (Suck it, Alabama!) C) The number of uninsured residents in the state dropped by 50 percent between 2013 and 2016, with the number of uninsured children in the state dropping to 4 percent — a record low. D) For the first time, there is at least one shoe for every man, woman and child in the state. 5) The fizzled K-Lofts apartments, in the former 1902 Gus Blass Wholesale building at 315 Main St. in Little Rock, have been renovated and christened with a new name in anticipation of being ready for leasing in October. What will the development now be called? A) Hotel Hipsterbeard. B) GentrifiX. C) Mulberry Flats. D) Downtown Wigs South.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in The Big Picture

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Hep A still spreading

    • I was diagnosed of Hepatitis B Virus 6 years ago, I started Lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) treatment…

    • on March 24, 2019

© 2019 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation