Inconsequential News Quiz: Trumpocalypse Now edition 

Play at home, while figuring out what the hell we're going to do with 105 million bushels of unwanted soybeans.

1) A Pine Bluff waitress got a big surprise recently at the restaurant where she worked. What, according to police, was the surprise?

A) She threw Sarah Huckabee Sanders' lying ass out of the restaurant, and Sanders didn't later take to Twitter to whine about it.

B) "Meat and three" plate contained actual meat.

C) A man allegedly tried to pay for his meal with her own credit card, which had been stolen when her car was broken into two days before.

D) President Trump came in and gave her a huge tip. The tip was: "Never trust Donald Trump, because he's a lying conman."

2) Ron Horsey, Central Arkansas vice president for Baldwin & Shell Construction, recently spoke to the Bryant School Board to explain why bids for a new fine arts center at Bryant High came in around $4 million higher than expected. What was one of the reasons Horsey gave for the greater-than-expected cost?

A) Immigrant children forced to make bricks and fiberglass insulation in abandoned Walmart stores all over Texas just aren't giving it their all.

B) The building had to be outfitted with ventilation and laboratory space because in Saline County, meth-making is considered one of the fine arts.

C) The first attempt at constructing the building had to be torn down after it was discovered an unscrupulous contractor had built it entirely of tongue depressors and paper mache.  

D) Trump's tariffs on steel and aluminum. Horsey told the board, "What we're seeing is the tariffs, right or wrong, that have been implemented. ... Now we're a couple months down the road and those real increases are hitting."

3) When patch of federal land near the Desha County community of Kelso was reportedly considered for the "honor" of housing immigrant children, several noted the site would include an extra helping of cruel irony if selected. What was different about the site?

A) The address is the same one given to all plaintiffs trying to sue Trump University.

B) Local Trump-supporting racists have been emotionally torn for weeks over whether they should celebrate the opening of the camp or protest the arrival of more brown people.

C) The site was knocked off the list after Trump took to Twitter to gripe about the area's lack of golf courses for him to visit during his "Make Concentration Camps Great Again" tour this summer.

D) The site was around three miles from the former Rohwer Internment Camp, to which over 8,000 Japanese-Americans, many of them children, were forcibly relocated during World War II.

4) On June 21, 1st District U.S. Rep. Rick Crawford crowed on Twitter that "soybean exports are up 21%" because of Trump's monumentally stupid tariffs. As noted by Crawford's Democratic opponent Chintan Desai, however, Crawford left out a few things about the state of American soybeans while helping Trump take a victory lap. Like what?  

A) The same day Crawford wrote his tweet, soybean prices sank to a 10-year low, having dropped by 12 percent since March.

B) Sixty-two percent of American soybeans — Arkansas's largest row crop, with over 150 million bushels produced annually in the state — are exported to China.

C) A recent Purdue University study estimated that levying a 30 percent tariff on Chinese goods could cause Chinese imports of U.S. soybeans to fall by over 70 percent.

D) All of the above.


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