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Recently retired from piddlin' around. Now mostly just phartin' around.

Updated on July 22, 2013 at 11:24 AM

Recent Comments

Re: “Satan vs. the supremacists

I thought you were a big goat lover, Steven. Guess not.

The "dedication" hasn't happened so I wouldn't sweat it just yet. Did you know that Satan is a charter member of the NRA? He, too, loves guns - the more the better. He also was a huge fan of the Confederacy and one of the biggest supporters of slavery. So don't be so hasty in your judgements. You and Bap have a lot in common, don't you think?

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 08/16/2018 at 2:13 PM

Re: “Satan vs. the supremacists

Don't tell anybody but it sure looks like Billy Bob Thornton has infiltrated the Klan.
The guy in the yeller cap? It's just Jacob, 20 years later. Probably lost a few I.Q. points but it's definitely HIM.

BTW, which side is this trio on? Hard to say...

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 08/16/2018 at 2:01 PM

Re: “With Satanic rally planned Thursday, counter-protesters hit streets today

Those anti-Satan demonstrators had best be careful. Do they not believe their very own Bibles? Don't they realize that the Devil is a rampaging beast determined to destroy all God's followers? Scratch WILL have his revenge.

Don't come to me when your cows run dry, your hens lay golf balls, your dogs are all infested with "Lancaster" dog-peter gnats, your cats stay in perpetual heat yowling all night long, your buttermilk never clabbers no matter how long it's churned on the back porch, and that new boomerang you bought just last week at Dick's Sporting Goods flies out over the Arkansas River and takes a dive with no pretense of ever comin' back.

Lucifer can be subtle at times but, don't worry, you'll receive your hell one way or another, eventually. And don't even think about throwin' anything at the Baphomet statue or you'll find that the trials of Job was all a Sunday school picnic.

As for me, up here in Conway, tomorrow should be an excellent day. I can wash my car without fear of any goose defilement. All the Faulkner County witches will, no doubt, fly to Little Rock for all the festivities and we can all relax on a spell-less Thursday for a change.

Be careful down there.

9 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 08/15/2018 at 9:00 PM

Re: “Abduction suspect arrested during threatened jump from bridge

D.T. Barrows was experiencing a bad period in his life and he made some very poor decisions making everything much worse.

Maybe, he'll pay his debt to society, rid himself of his demons and live a happy, productive life thereafter. It would be beneficial to everyone if that were to be the case. As long as he doesn't take up preachin' the gospel, everything will be all right.

One thing is confusing. At what point was the woman and baby released? Was the baby in the vehicle with him in the pursuit? If not, that might explain why he wasn't pursued quite so aggresively. Yes, he chickened out on going through with the suicide but he could've fallen onto a vehicle going under the bridge causing one or more additional deaths in the process.

Perhaps, 20 years from now, Mr Barrows will come along and save one of your descendants from drowning after their driverless Uber throws a chip and drives into a river. That life-saving event would be a GOOD thing to have happen even if he had already taken up the ministry. Brother Barrows! God works in mysterious ways -- whether or not He actually exists.

5 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 08/15/2018 at 7:52 PM

Re: “Sarah Sanders' bad day on the race beat

Sarah could make history if she just would. I can see it now. In one of these pressers, she finally has enough, buckles under the pressure, and tells the absolute truth about the hell she's endured under Trump. She reveals what a sorry, sick, individual he is with detailed accounts of the tyranny in the White House and the downright, flatout, lies that she is forced to rehearse and repeat on a daily basis.

Maybe, I've seen too many movies but you can imagine how the mutterings from the staff in the background, turn into to shouts to pull the microphones and shut down the press room when she shows no signs of abating.

Finally as the chaos around her builds, she thanks the enemy of the people for their time, grabs her purse, strides through the White House corridors, closely followed by a confusion of cameras and microphones, and out the front door of the Presidential Mansion where her husband is awaiting in his car with motor running. She gets in, waves one final good-bye out the window, and departs the big white den of iniquity forever. In the movie, her car will burn rubber while leaving the grounds. In real life --probably not.

Sarah will become John Dean, Bob Haldeman, and Sam Erwin, with a smattering of Martha Mitchell all rolled into one iconic package in the fiasco that will be known forever as "Genius Gate".

Mike Huckabee will write a book where he attempts to convince the world that he had "never fallen under Trump's spell" and had, in fact, been advising his daughter for months to reveal the truth in the manner which she finally did. Nobody believes any of this and few people buy the book. The sequel, written in a couple of weeks, never found a publisher.

Sarah denies all of her father's assertions in HER book that "Dad was always trying to crash the party" and was a "second-rate hanger-on". Subsequently, HER book becomes the best seller of the 21st Century and made into the Academy Award winning movie "Sarah's Hope" with Aidy Bryant reprising the title character and Danny DeVito as her father.

It could happen.

18 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 08/15/2018 at 10:40 AM

Re: “Tuesday's headlines and the open line

Let's not forget the very Presidential and pious "God dammit!" in the phone call with Omarosa where he claimed not to know what was happening down at the "big operation" they run at the White House. I haven't talked to any of my evangelical Trump folks since then but I'm expecting something like this this whenever I bring it up:

He didn't know he was being recorded.
He's not the first President to use that expletive.
What kind of person would record a private phone call?
At least, he hasn't allowed any people to die in Benghazi. Don't forget Benghazi!
Things slip out when you're a high energy person.
God works in mysterious ways.
Doesn't matter if he kicks out all the foreigners amongst us.
Trump is just being Trump.

Then I will counter with:

But nobody reads the Bible more than Trump. Does the Bible mention blasphemy?
According to Trump, he's never done anything in order to have to ask God for forgiveness. "God dammit!"? Does that qualify?
How about Trump's obligation to the poor and oppressed? Does tossing a few rolls of paper towels to a crowd of peasants in Puerto Rico count?
Is it Christian to separate young children from their parents? How would you feel if some "authority" took your grandkids away?
Would you be willing to hire Trump for your next minister?

On second thought, I'll save myself the aggravation. I've already covered it all here and I don't want to alienate these folks any more than has been already caused by the "Big Trump Rift". I don't want any "God dammits!" to slip out for sure. I try not to say that out of respect for their beliefs. That respect has been eroding lately. A lot.

9 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 08/14/2018 at 9:08 PM

Re: “The open line: Checking the arc of the moral universe

"Right now, there is no real threat from the right."

Good. Let's keep it that way.

"Whenever they's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Whenever they's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there... I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad an'I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when our folks eat the stuff they raise an' live in the houses they build-why, I'll be there."

Tom Joad joins the Antifas

"Wherever the NeoNazis and the KKK gather, we'll be there."

1 like, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 08/13/2018 at 8:54 PM

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