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Olphart 
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Currently

Recently retired from piddlin' around. Now mostly just phartin' around.

Updated on July 22, 2013 at 11:24 AM

Recent Comments

Re: “Monday's open line

Yes, it worked for me, Durango! But you have to handle the accident just right with the proper finesse. I wouldn't recommend it. I cut it awfully close. The first thing I saw when I woke up was a nurse smiling at me. I thought at first she was an angel (and she WAS I'm sure) but not THAT kind of an angel. Silly me, I thought for a second that I was in Heaven. Fat chance.

My, my, I've fallen literally into true old age. How I love to talk about my ailments! Anyway, you've heard it all before.

As to the wine, despite my jokes about drinking it and getting drunk, the cork is still intact. I'm waiting for the proper occasion.

Speaking of angels, I'm convinced that mountaingirl is truly of that species. Her long, flowing, hair gives that impression as well. She has an ethereal look about her if you squint your eyes... I'm sure you know her well. She truly is the real deal. BTW, she brought some excellent cookies with her as well. All in all, it might've been worth it, come to think of it.

Scatterjawed tonight but something else occurs to me. You think that Connie Hamzy will be suing rock groups for sexual harassment now? I wouldn't put it past her. I snickered at her one time when, (at the drugstore in true professional discourse -- nothing social, mind you) when she was getting ready to go see The Kentucky Headhunters in concert, I said something about how the group was aptly-named. Probably couldn't get away with that nowadays.

The Golden Age is over and I, mostly, missed it. Alas, Babylon! Which, incidentally, is still in print and as good as I remembered it.

Fork me, I'm done---->

12 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 9:51 PM

Re: “Monday's open line

I read last week that while we were all enthralled by "Camelot", JFK and the Secret Service were scouring the country, looking for "poon" for our down-in-the-back President. Hookers, actresses, beauty contest winners. It didn't matter. JFK and his guardians referred jokingly to Jackie as the "Ice Queen".

And there I was sitting in Study Hall trying to be discreet squeezing my pimples while worrying about all the missile silos they were digging out on the highway...

I didn't have a clue then about how things actually worked in this country and I will likely go to my grave with the same ignorance.

I just don't ever want to hear anything about what Captain Kangaroo and Mr Green Jeans were probably doing to those poor kids on that TV show. It makes me shiver to think about it.

Now, et tu, Charlie Rose?

BTW, thank you DBI for inspiring that rant. Billy Sol Estes indeed!

16 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 7:14 PM

Re: “Monday's open line

I see that Perplexed picked up on the same sentence from Max that I did. What Max doesn't realize is that every word he types is scrutinized carefully and treated like a nugget of gold about to be mined.

12 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 6:49 PM

Re: “Monday's open line

"Here's the Monday open line and today's news roundup. Looks like a slow week."

Evidently, you haven't heard. The rogue planet, Nibiru, has been rescheduled to destroy the earth on Black Friday. That will, no doubt, teach us a lesson we'll never forget. When you're spinnin' helplessly out in space without a chunk of rock to stand on, you'll wish you had behaved! That 90-inch flatscreen you bought that morning at Walmart for $75 will all be for naught!

14 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 6:41 PM

Re: “Sunday open line

You done good, wannabee! You did yersef some good and them other poor folks a heap of good at the same time. Congratulations on gettin' yer retirement off to a bang-up start!

7 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 10:04 AM

Re: “Sunday open line

We'll see how many politicians and church leaders send their thoughts and prayers to the Charles Manson family today. If I had to pick a number, I would say...zero.

I may plant the rumor today down at the Golden Corral that Mr. Manson had been "saved" on his death bed. Just as an experiment, mind you, to see how much rejoicing I hear.

I better try to go back to bed and get some rest. Maybe my attitude will improve.

6 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Olphart on 11/20/2017 at 5:34 AM

Re: “Sunday open line

I should have read Durango's news first before I posted. I am cheered up immensely that good and fabulous things still happen in this world. Never mind me.

15 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Olphart on 11/19/2017 at 10:36 PM

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