Favorite

Protect marriage? 

Should’ve voted Kerry

All our exes don’t live in Texas. A bunch of them live in Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia, good God-fearing, George W.-carrying and football-loving places like that. Now that so many of you in Arkansas have chosen by your vote to “protect marriage” above all else, your next step should become obvious. It’s to get the heck out — of Arkansas, the South, the Bible Belt, the Southeastern Athletic Conference, any marital danger zone otherwise known as a red state — and hurry yourself to the relative marital bliss of a blue state. I’m just quoting the statistics, brother. Studies plainly show that divorce rates are higher in George W. Bush states than John Kerry states. The correlation is strikingly clear and the conclusion plainly obvious: The more you spout off about emphasizing traditional Christian values, the more likely you are to have divorced people all around you. That is to say that here in conservative red America we protect marriage with our sanctimonious words and votes, but not our deeds. Those liberal and secular hell holes like the District of Columbia, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New York — that, it turns out, is where they truly value marriage. Counterintuitive, I believe you call it. Or hypocrisy. I’m referring to data from the National Center for Health Statistics compiling state-by-state rankings of divorces per 1,000 people for 2001, the most recent year I could find. The District of Columbia gave Kerry the highest percentage of its vote last week. It turns out that D.C. had the lowest divorce rate of 2001. Massachusetts gave Kerry the second-highest percentage. It had the second lowest divorce rate for 2001. Of the 10 states with the lowest divorce rates that year, six were Kerry states. In addition to Massachusetts, they were Connecticut, Maryland, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. None of the four low-divorce Bush states were in the South, where we profess to love God most and obey Him best. They were Montana, North Dakota, Iowa and Kansas. More vividly, all 10 states with the highest divorce rates in 2001 was Bush states Tuesday. That includes our own little Arkansas, which, get this, had the second-highest divorce rate, 6.6 divorces per 1,000 people. That trailed only the divorce factory out in Nevada, the state of Reno and Vegas, speaking of God-fearing places that embraced the incumbent president. The other eight divorcingest states had a certain Southern-friedness to them. They were Wyoming, Idaho, Kentucky, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, West Virginia and Tennessee. If you don’t like those statistics, take it up with Gov. Mike Huckabee. He was quoting and lamenting Arkansas’s ranking the other day in announcing his plan for a mass “covenant marriage” ceremony on Valentine’s Day. A “covenant marriage” is supposed to be more serious than a regular marriage in that you commit not to get out of it without counseling. It turns out, though, that a covenant marriage can be dissolved without counseling if both parties want out and neither volunteers to the judge that they made a covenant otherwise. These rankings would seem to suggest a better way to protect marriage. It would be to have a higher standard of living, better educational opportunities and a more enlightened and tolerant population. Finally, I should confess to running up Arkansas’s ranking myself. My personal divorce rate is 200 percent — one guy, two divorces. But I seem to have gotten marriage right the third time, knock wood. It must be this ever-growing liberalism and that year I spent in D.C.
Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by John Brummett

  • Obstruction is the preferred conservatism

    Is there greater conservative virtue in opposing federal health reform, period, or in saying it ought to be implemented locally instead of from Washington in the event we are unavoidably laden with it?
    • Oct 5, 2011
  • A fate not quite as bad as prison for Lu Hardin

    There is no crime in being overly and transparently solicitous for the purposes of aggrandizement and personal political advancement. That's simply acute neediness, a common and benign human frailty.
    • Sep 28, 2011
  • Can we talk? Can we get anywhere?

    Dialogue is good. It would be even better if someone would venture off script every once in a while.
    • Sep 21, 2011
  • More »

Most Shared

  • So much for a school settlement in Pulaski County

    The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette's Cynthia Howell got the scoop on what appears to be coming upheaval in the Pulaski County School District along with the likely end of any chance of a speedy resolution of school desegregation issues in Pulaski County.
  • Riverfest calls it quits

    The board of directors of Riverfest, Arkansas's largest and longest running music festival, announced today that the festival will no longer be held. Riverfest celebrated its 40th anniversary in June. A press release blamed competition from other festivals and the rising cost of performers fees for the decision.
  • Football for UA Little Rock

    Andrew Rogerson, the new chancellor at UA Little Rock, has decided to study the cost of starting a major college football team on campus (plus a marching band). Technically, it would be a revival of football, dropped more than 60 years ago when the school was a junior college.
  • Turn to baseball

    When the world threatens to get you down, there is always baseball — an absorbing refuge, an alternate reality entirely unto itself.

Latest in John Brummett

  • Gone to the DoG

    We're now longer carrying John Brummett's column in this space.
    • Oct 12, 2011
  • Obstruction is the preferred conservatism

    Is there greater conservative virtue in opposing federal health reform, period, or in saying it ought to be implemented locally instead of from Washington in the event we are unavoidably laden with it?
    • Oct 5, 2011
  • A fate not quite as bad as prison for Lu Hardin

    There is no crime in being overly and transparently solicitous for the purposes of aggrandizement and personal political advancement. That's simply acute neediness, a common and benign human frailty.
    • Sep 28, 2011
  • More »

Event Calendar

« »

July

S M T W T F S
  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31  

Most Viewed

  • Another Jesus

    If you follow the logic of Jason Rapert and his supporters, God is very pleased so many have donated money to rebuild a giant stone slab with some rules on it. A few minutes on Rapert's Facebook page (if he hasn't blocked you yet) also shows his supporters believe that Jesus wants us to lock up more people in prison, close our borders to those in need and let poor Americans fend for themselves for food and health care.
  • Pay attention

    If anyone thinks that a crisis with the Power Ultra Lounge shooting, then he hasn't been paying attention to Little Rock.

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Pay attention

    • I have attended community meetings about the recent spike in violence in LR, and police…

    • on July 22, 2017
  • Re: Pay attention

    • Adawson's comments attribute the plight of black people in the United States to the War…

    • on July 22, 2017
  • Re: Pay attention

    • Heather Wilson, blacks have NOT been prevented from pursuing the skilled trades as a result…

    • on July 22, 2017
 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation