Favorite

Single mothers, black brothers 

In so many ways our society has changed. Two out of three black children are living in a single-parent household. Coming from a culture where couples believed in staying by each other and working it out, where did we go wrong? When did our beliefs change so much that instead of jumping the broom, we are standing in a courtroom watching the fathers of our children be sent away to prison?

Statistics show that 10.4 percent of African-American males in the U.S. are incarcerated. More African-American men are walking in prison courtyards than on a college campus. In 2000, there were 791,600 black men in prison and 603,032 enrolled in college.

When will African-American women get tired of this? We have to have better expectations of our men. Allowing ourselves to get involved with men who are not trying to do better only creates a never-ending cycle. Maybe if they see that we aren't accepting the wrong lifestyle, they would want better.

Yes, we still have children by these men and those children are exposed to that lifestyle. Why would we want to bring a child into that kind of life? But as the days go by, more and more of our black brothers are choosing that route. More of our brothers are being locked behind bars, leaving the family to pick up the pieces of their mistakes and leaving the mother to raise the children left behind.

More than 80 percent of custodial parents are mothers. Mothers who go to work every day to make sure that their children are provided with the things that they need. These mothers often lose out on their own dreams and goals. They often sacrifice what they want for the betterment of their child. It is becoming an epidemic. More and more African-American mothers are raising their children without a father in their lives.

It would be easier to date a man than to just have his baby. We have become accustomed to just jumping right into a relationship. There is no longer “courting” in today's society. When a man or woman asks for your number they automatically become your “boo.” If we would choose to get to know these men better, we would be more likely to have husbands than “baby daddies.” 

This is not intended as a bashing of African-American men or a bashing of the decisions of African-American women. It is more of a tool. A tool for African-American people to read and apply to everyday lives.

Women, I hope that by reading this your expectations will grow. And men, I hope you will look for success in books and not on street corners. This is only a tool for the betterment of our people. It's up to us to use the tools properly.

 

Alexis Davis is a first-year student at Philander Smith College, from Kansas City, and one of several students there who submitted op-ed columns to the Times for potential publication as part of a class assignment. Max Brantley, who is on vacation, welcomed the contributions.

 

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Schlafly's influence

    Phyllis Schlafly, mother, attorney and longtime antifeminist, died recently. What Schlafly promoted was not novel or new. Men had been saying that men and women were not equal for years. However, anti-feminism, anti-women language had much more power coming from a woman who professed to be looking out for the good of all women and families.
    • Sep 15, 2016
  • Seven

    The controversy over the Ten Commandments monument on the Capitol lawn just won't go away.
    • Feb 9, 2017
  • Why a change of leadership at the LRSD now?

    Johnny Key's abrupt, unilateral decision to not renew Baker Kurrus' contract as superintendent strikes us as shortsighted, misguided and detrimental to the education of our children and the health of our community.
    • Apr 21, 2016

Most Shared

  • Guest Playlist: Flap Jones of "Not Necessarily Nashville" schools us on real country music

    "Not Necessarily Nashville," which airs on KUAR-FM 89.1 every Saturday, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., celebrates three decades of the "best of the rest of country music" Saturday, October 21 at the White Water Tavern with Brad Williams of The Salty Dogs & The Creek Rocks, and we asked host Flap Jones to curate a playlist for us ahead of that anniversary celebration.
  • Discussion: State killing of the mentally ill

    The Arkansas Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty and others will have a forum on mental illness and the death penalty at 6:30 p.m. Monday at the Bowen School of Law's Friday Courtroom.

Latest in Guest Writer

  • Can't afford to gut ACA

    The Affordable Care Act was passed into law with the promise that it would make insurance affordable. Because of bipartisan leadership in Arkansas, we continue to strive to achieve that goal. While rhetoric abounds, it is important to understand the Arkansas experience.
    • Sep 21, 2017
  • Tipping point

    I was extremely cautious before engaging in the educational debate about the State Board of Education's decision to take over the Little Rock School District.
    • Sep 14, 2017
  • Left behind

    Arkansas is getting a lot of attention for our very low unemployment rate. If you look only at that number (3.4 percent), you would think workers here were doing quite well — better than surrounding states and even the nation as a whole. But that seemingly simple rate can hide some huge gaps in prosperity.
    • Sep 7, 2017
  • More »

Event Calendar

« »

October

S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31  

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Caution: government at work

    • The people of Arkansas need to keep demanding that our state government be accountable to…

    • on October 21, 2017
  • Re: Cotton to CIA?

    • Watching C-Span last week, they were talking about Cotton for the head of the FBI…

    • on October 21, 2017
  • Re: The casting couch

    • sigh............ I would argue that the idea of 'freedom from fear' is part of the…

    • on October 19, 2017
 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation