Favorite

Sweet tarts 

Short stories on missed connections.

click to enlarge cover_story5-1-7c91ae494a16962c.jpg

*I once had a Tinder date that resulted in me being his registered companion for free flights for a year. I once had three online dates in one night (the third was by accident). There was the time a standup comedian recognized me from Tinder and worked it into his comedy sketch (embarrassing but hilarious).

*One time on a first date a guy read me poetry he had written and looked at me expectantly, so I said, "That's really nice," and he said, "Yeah, I wrote that for a former girlfriend, she loved it." And then I sat on a barstool and it collapsed underneath me.

*A few years ago, when I was on eHarmony, I was matched up with a gentleman who happened to be a plastic surgeon. That fact didn't give me a very positive first impression (I imagined a superficial man with a big ego and unrealistic expectations about women), but one of my goals going into online dating was to keep an open mind. There's a chance he doesn't spend all day doing breast augmentations, I thought. Maybe he also fixes cleft palates with Doctors Without Borders.

After a few email exchanges, we arranged to meet for lunch. I arrived early, and as I was looking out onto the parking lot, I saw a Hummer drive up. Please don't be him, I thought. An attractive man in scrubs got out. It was him.

He was in fact a cosmetic surgeon. Doing breast work and tummy tucks were his specialty; he even pointed me toward his website to check out the before-and-after pictures. He was proud of his work. Then, I guess because we were on the subject, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I know yours are real. They're nice." I think I gave him a hesitant 'thank you,' after an uncomfortable silence. It was awkward from beginning to end. And that was the end.

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Anonymous

More by

  • Sunday and another open line

    Got anything for the open line?
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • But what about the Clintons? Last refuge of Trump, New York Times

    Trying to compare Donald Trump's reaction to the Russia investigation with Bill Clinton's dealings with Kenneth Starr should be a non-starter if the facts mattered. But these days — and to the New York Times — it ain't necessarily so.
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • Football is king, Bentonville edition

    Good analysis in the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette of an unannounced Bentonville School Board vote last week to put $2 million into a football stadium for West High School despite board assurances in last May's tax election that no money would go to a football stadium.
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • More »

More by

  • Sunday and another open line

    Got anything for the open line?
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • But what about the Clintons? Last refuge of Trump, New York Times

    Trying to compare Donald Trump's reaction to the Russia investigation with Bill Clinton's dealings with Kenneth Starr should be a non-starter if the facts mattered. But these days — and to the New York Times — it ain't necessarily so.
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • Football is king, Bentonville edition

    Good analysis in the Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette of an unannounced Bentonville School Board vote last week to put $2 million into a football stadium for West High School despite board assurances in last May's tax election that no money would go to a football stadium.
    • Jul 23, 2017
  • More »

Readers also liked…

  • The ballad of Fred and Yoko

    How one of the world's foremost Beatles collectors died homeless on the streets of Little Rock.
    • Mar 31, 2016
  • Big ideas for Arkansas 2015

    Readers and experts suggest ways to change Arkansas for the better.
    • Dec 17, 2015
  • 2016 Best of Arkansas editors' picks

    A few of our favorite things.
    • Jul 28, 2016

Most Shared

  • Football for UA Little Rock

    Andrew Rogerson, the new chancellor at UA Little Rock, has decided to study the cost of starting a major college football team on campus (plus a marching band). Technically, it would be a revival of football, dropped more than 60 years ago when the school was a junior college.
  • Turn to baseball

    When the world threatens to get you down, there is always baseball — an absorbing refuge, an alternate reality entirely unto itself.

Latest in Cover Stories

Event Calendar

« »

July

S M T W T F S
  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31  

Most Viewed

Most Recent Comments

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation