Favorite

The Observer, Sept. 10 

A careful reader sent The Observer a classified advertisement from a recent issue of the Greenwood Democrat. Maybe you want to take advantage of this deal.

The seller is looking to trade his wedding and engagement rings for a Corvette. (Or $15,000, whichever comes first.) Check it out. If you're fixing to pop the question and tired of the Chevy, you're in luck. You get the feeling he believes he's trading up.

 

The Observer was shopping for shoes in a department store Saturday when a voice came over a loudspeaker to inform us that Dennis Johnson had returned the kickoff for a 91-yard touchdown. We're glad the Arkansas tradition of broadcasting Razorback plays in public places carries on. We remember when every store on Main Street kept up so shoppers wouldn't miss any plays. Sorry to sound so old-timery, but it was a sign of fall.

We decided this year we're going to learn something about football. When we got back home we turned on the radio so we could listen while we cooked dinner. It was homey hearing the advertisements about corn seed and the commentators wishing people's moms happy birthday. That was like the old days, too. It felt like fall.

 

The Observer didn't know there were so many Commies in Arkansas until we started reading about all these people coming to the health care town hall dramas who object to the czars. And we didn't know there were so many rich people (besides the usual suspects) until we read about the guy who said the way to pay for your health care should be “liquidation of assets.” Hope he never has anything worse than a hangnail, or his assets will be plumb evaporated, not just liquefied. He and the czar-hating Bolshies — they have crept out of woodwork The Observer never knew existed around here.

We enjoy the czars, ourselves, especially the last of the Romanovs, who The Observer's daughter fills us in on every day after school. Talk about liquidation of assets.

 

The Observer's television set went on the fritz recently. A single, loud, angry BZZZZT! — as if it had finally become fed up enough with reality TV to finally lodge a vocal protest — and then it was done.

To be fair, it had a really great run. Twelve years, to be exact. The Observer and spouse bought it back during our two years of self-imposed exile, living in student housing on the snowy plains of Iowa, where The Observer was going to grad school. It was a bargain-basement cheapie: an RCA we picked up at Wal-Mart in order to appease my brother, who was coming for a weeklong visit, and who would have surely gone Jack-Nicholson-in-The Shining on us had he not had a way to alleviate the frigid, crushing, Midwestern boredom. Up until then, we hadn't owned a television set in over a year. To tell you the truth, I don't think we missed it much.

Twelve years, a kid, and much better cable later, The Observer is appalled at how much television we watch. Back when the last set went out just prior to our Iowa sojourn, we were happy to hang with Kafka or Flannery O'Connor or John Steinbeck and stuff a few hours down the crease of a book (still are, but not as much as we were then). These days, though, there are times when we catch ourselves just keeping the boob tube on for background noise, or flipping through channels, content to complain that there is nothing on rather than punching the little red button to turn it off.

For the last couple of days, however, there has been silence throughout the kingdom. We're learning, once again, to appreciate the sound of that. 

 

Department of huh?: “Melanie Linker and guest dancers will present Story of a Heart, featuring modern dance and obscure theatrics, at the Auditorium on Saturday, Sept. 5 at 7 p.m.” — The Lovely County Citizen, Eureka Springs.

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Arkansas Times Staff

Readers also liked…

  • I'm sorry

    I'm sorry we stood by while your generation's hope was smothered by $1.3 trillion in student loan debt, just because you were trying to educate yourselves enough to avoid falling for the snake oil and big talk of a fascist.
    • Nov 17, 2016
  • Show and tell

    The Observer is an advocate of the A+ method of integrating the arts and using creativity to teach across the curriculum, an approach that the Thea Foundation, with help from the Windgate Charitable Foundation, is offering to schools across the state.
    • Feb 25, 2016
  • Yawp

    The Observer has been in a funk lately for a number of reasons: revulsions and slights, both foreign and domestic. We get that way most years as the winter drags on, once the tinsel and colored lights of Christmas drop into the rearview, soon after we come off the New Year's Day hangover.
    • Mar 24, 2016

Most Shared

  • ASU to reap $3.69 million from estate of Jim and Wanda Lee Vaughn

    Arkansas State University announced today plans for spending an expected $3.69 million gift in the final distribution of the estate of Jim and Wanda Lee Vaughn, who died in 2013 and 2015 respectively.
  • Bad health care bill, again

    Wait! Postpone tax reform and everything else for a while longer because the Senate is going to try to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act one more time before September ends and while it can do it with the votes of only 50 senators.
  • Sex on campus

    Look, the Great Campus Rape Crisis was mainly hype all along. What Vice President Joe Biden described as an epidemic of sexual violence sweeping American college campuses in 2011 was vastly overstated.

Latest in The Observer

  • Taking one for the team

    The Observer got to the doctor's office the other day. We hate going to the doctor. Loathe is a better word. In the form of a sentence, it would be: "The Observer hates going to the doctor with the same white hot intensity that Trump voters would hate being forced to read the seminal grammar primer, 'The Elements of Style,' by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White." Yes, it's that bad.
    • Sep 21, 2017
  • The lake house

    The Observer got to the lake over the weekend, courtesy of some friends who rented a place on the water.
    • Sep 14, 2017
  • 13

    The Observer, an office-bound hermit until we were cast back into the hustle of an open newsroom earlier this year, had forgotten how much we'd missed the camaraderie of being forced into joining conversations with your colleagues.
    • Sep 7, 2017
  • More »

Event Calendar

« »

September

S M T W T F S
  1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Most Viewed

Most Recent Comments

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation