Unplain speaking 

Now we have two company-owned politicians ambling around America calling themselves “mavericks.” This is bad for the country and bad for the language.

John McCain has sailed under false colors for years, with the collaboration of the mainstream media, who themselves follow big-money's orders docilely and pretend otherwise. As soon as Sarah Palin was anointed by corporate America, the media spied her admirably independent qualities too: “Both [McCain and Palin] are considered ‘mavericks' unafraid to fight even those in their own party.”

Don't lie awake worrying that these “mavericks” will be denied campaign assistance by their party's biggest backers, the oil companies, the drug companies, the insurance companies, the defense contractors, et al. They'll flood the airways with advertisements, though none will say plainly that the McCain-Palin ticket is committed to more handouts for the rich and more military service for the poor. Political discourse has been so thoroughly corrupted today that workers and poor people are now “special interests,” and any suggestion for helping them is “pandering.” “Maverick” is reserved for reliably right-wing politicians. A left-of-center candidate who has actually differed with his own party, who has challenged the conventional wisdom, someone like Dennis Kucinich say, is an extremist to the New York Times, a lunatic to Fox News.    


Whatever it takes

Seeing the small headline “A dangerous infestation,” we assumed that here was another report from the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, but closer inspection revealed it to be even more disturbing, and closer to home.

“The black widow spider, Latrodectus mactans, is infesting the state of Arkansas,” a letter to the editor began. The writer went on to say that he'd killed five black widow spiders at the place where he works in Maumelle, two more at his home, and found three more nests outside an El Dorado drug store. He warned that the spider's venom “is 15 times deadlier than the rattlesnake's,” that “they can become aggressive now that their egg sacs are formed,” and that each of these sacs contains “400 dangerous little spiders ready to hatch out next spring.”

We never want to read anything like this again, and to that end, we're urging the strongest possible response. Mobilize the National Guard, Governor Beebe, and order them to ignore and/or club any wacko spider-huggers who try to protect the creatures. Call on the biology departments of the state colleges and universities for expert assistance; movies have shown there are gifted young female arachnologists eager to help in cases like this, often wearing short skirts. Don't anybody dilly-dally.



Sign up for the Daily Update email


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Arkansas Times Staff

Latest in Editorials

  • The end of an era

    We're sad to report that Doug Smith has decided to retire. Though he's been listed as an associate editor on our masthead for the last 22 years, he has in fact been the conscience of the Arkansas Times. He has written all but a handful of our unsigned editorials since we introduced an opinion page in 1992.
    • May 8, 2014
  • A stand for equality

    Last week, Attorney General Dustin McDaniel became the first elected statewide official to express support for same-sex marriage. His announcement came days before Circuit Judge Chris Piazza is expected to rule on a challenge to the state's constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. Soon after, a federal challenge of the law is expected to move forward. McDaniel has pledged to "zealously" defend the Arkansas Constitution but said he wanted the public to know where he stood.
    • May 8, 2014
  • Same old, same old

    Remarking as we were on the dreariness of this year's election campaigns, we failed to pay sufficient tribute to the NRA, one of the most unsavory and, in its predictability, dullest of the biennial participants in the passing political parade.
    • May 1, 2014
  • More »

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Legislative boodlers

    • The U6 unemployment rate is still at 8%, partly because they can get benefits and…

    • on June 19, 2018
  • Re: Him, again

    • Regardless of my success or lack of it, I've been way ahead of Trump all…

    • on June 19, 2018
  • Re: Him, again

    • Investigator, I think poor Oaf is feeling envious that women would be drawn to Trump,…

    • on June 18, 2018

© 2018 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation