Favorite

w4m 

The Observer, the storied old eavesdropper of Maple Street, is an incorrigible cruiser of the "Missed Connections" section of Little Rock Craigslist, that great wrecking yard of relationships both real and imagined, full of folks casting their paper airplanes into the dark in the near-impossible hope they'll poke just the right person in the eye. You see all kinds of stuff on there, from the pathetic to the heartrending to the perverted enough to make you consider to alerting the proper authorities. It's the great human carnival of lust, lewdness and loss, in all its whirl and gaudy splash.

Though there are some rather obscure categories of Missed Connections — w4ww, mm4m, t4w ("w" being "woman," "t" being "transgender," and so forth), and good luck and Godspeed to all those — The Observer's regular haunt is w4m, and not because we're hoping to find some lass on there pining for Yours Truly from afar. Women, in general, are much better at putting their feelings on paper. Often what winds up posted there are anonymous letters that will never be sent, cast into the digital sea like virtual notes in an electric bottle, in the dreaming hope the words there might fall under the gaze of The One, or — in many cases — The Used to Be The One. This note titled "Almost a Year Without You," for instance, recently caught our eye. We present a found object this week, then, so full of sad, lovely, near-poetic longing that its cup doth runneth over. An excerpt appears below.

What's that old saw about being kind, because everybody is fighting a hard fight? Case in point:

"I'm not in your arms at night and where I should be, and I can only wonder if you know that feeling.

"Do you remember how I would wake up in a panic at times because I was afraid you were not there? I know I woke you once doing it, but I did it more than that and you never knew. I dream about being in your arms and making love to you. But it should be more than a dream that I wake to in pain... .

"I don't expect you to see this, read this or contact me. But it does not hurt to try, because I feel like I have no other way to contact you considering how life has gone for us. I do really love you, and if that does not speak volumes after all this time I have had to heal, then I do not know what will. It is proof positive my love was not pretend or a lie ... . You thought I would want to trade up from you or find someone else in time. But that was never the case with me.

"I don't fear being alone, I live how I do, but I do not fear loneliness. I embrace times I can be alone and I'm happy with me. I don't just want someone I do not have a deep connection with or to be with someone just for their looks or what they could offer me otherwise. Because they are not you. I will continue to live the life I have now because I have to, and I have learned so much in all this time. I love who I am. I love what I do, and I have grown as a person. I know everything I want in life, but I take it day by day. I do not live in a dream. Even though I think of you, I still live my life.

"If I never hear from you again, just know I will probably always love you. But I will move on and try to be happy, because I would think if you truly loved me, you would wish this. I will live the life I have always led, but for the better. And it has been better lately. But I can't help I truly love you and what I want.

"If we can't be together and I do not hear a word from you, I will be faithful, loving and always there for just one person in my life. They would deserve it and that is truly how I am. I just wish it was with you."

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • I'm sorry

    I'm sorry we stood by while your generation's hope was smothered by $1.3 trillion in student loan debt, just because you were trying to educate yourselves enough to avoid falling for the snake oil and big talk of a fascist.
    • Nov 17, 2016
  • Show and tell

    The Observer is an advocate of the A+ method of integrating the arts and using creativity to teach across the curriculum, an approach that the Thea Foundation, with help from the Windgate Charitable Foundation, is offering to schools across the state.
    • Feb 25, 2016
  • Yawp

    The Observer has been in a funk lately for a number of reasons: revulsions and slights, both foreign and domestic. We get that way most years as the winter drags on, once the tinsel and colored lights of Christmas drop into the rearview, soon after we come off the New Year's Day hangover.
    • Mar 24, 2016

Most Shared

  • Trump unfit

    Even as an oligarch, President Trump turns out to be breathtakingly incompetent. Is there any reason to suppose he's even loyal to the United States? Does he even understand the concept? Trump is loyal to Trump, and to his absurdly swollen ego. Nothing and nobody else.
  • You want tort reform? Try this.

    The nursing home industry and the chamber of commerce finally defeated the trial lawyers in the 2017 legislature. The Republican-dominated body approved a constitutional amendment for voters in 2018 that they'll depict as close to motherhood in goodness.
  • Goodbye, Mr. Trump

    It is hard to escape the feeling that the fortunes of President Trump and the country took a decisive, and for Trump a fatal, turn May 9-10, when the president fired the director of the FBI over its investigation of Russian efforts to swing the presidential election to him and the very next day shared top-secret intelligence with Russian officials in an Oval Office meeting closed except to a Kremlin press aide toting electronic gear to capture the intimate session for Russians but not Americans.
  • Raw feelings in the Arkansas Justice Building over workload, pay

    Strained relations between the Arkansas Supreme Court and the Arkansas Court of Appeals broke into public view this week. I expect more to come.

Latest in The Observer

  • More bad news

    As we write this, the Little Rock City Board is readying an ordinance to make it exponentially harder for charities to feed poor and homeless people in city parks.
    • May 18, 2017
  • Art imitates life

    If you're not watching "The Handmaid's Tale" on Hulu, you should be, if your heart can stand it.
    • May 11, 2017
  • How high's the water, Momma?

    he Observer, who is lucky enough to live on the crest of a hill that will never see standing water unless the Good Lord decides to punish mankind with 40 days and 40 nights of deluge again, has watched with alarm as the folks up in North Arkansas have been inundated with rain in recent days.
    • May 4, 2017
  • More »

Visit Arkansas

New Entrance and North Forest to debut with Chihuly exhibit opening at Crystal Bridges

New Entrance and North Forest to debut with Chihuly exhibit opening at Crystal Bridges

Dual Chihuly exhibit opening also brings culmination of year-plus forest project

Event Calendar

« »

May

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31  

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: A long way to fall

    • Nobody on this damn forum has provide one shred of proof that Ron Fields is…

    • on May 21, 2017
  • Re: A long way to fall

    • Jay C Rider is an incredible person. He is absolutely not responsible for ANY murder…

    • on May 21, 2017
  • Re: Arkansas ticks wanted

    • How do we find our local extension service office?

    • on May 20, 2017
 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation